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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26498836">show me devotion (I want to go all the way)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Cunnilingus, Lingerie, Multi, Nipple Play, Other, Teasing, Trans Character, gender euphoria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:34:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26498836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb's thumb wipes a tear from the corner of xyr eye.</p>
<p>"This is why I said we would do makeup after the dress was on." He's teasing, but the fondness and love in his voice is unmistakable. "Are you ready?" He says, quieter, and Wulf nods.</p>
<p>They do most of the work putting the dress on xem, and before long Astrid is fastening the last small mother-of-pearl button at the neck of the dress. With shaking hands, Wulf smooths xyr palms over the slick, shimmering fabric. It moves like water beneath xyr touch, and sparkles like it too. The dress is- beautiful, and xe hopes that xe looks beautiful in it. With the way Astrid and Caleb are looking at xem, xe almost believes xe does.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astrid/Eodwulf/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>show me devotion (I want to go all the way)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set in some nebulous future after Astrid and Eodwulf join the Mighty Nein, and featuring transfemme half-elf Eodwulf who uses xe/xem pronouns because Liam waited too long to give us canon details and I've become attached to certain headcanons. Caleb is a trans man, and Astrid is nonbinary and uses she/they pronouns.</p>
<p>Wulf's earring is something that Caleb enchanted for xem to change xyr genitals when desired, as is Astrid's ring. It's not mentioned, but Caleb has a necklace that does the same thing.</p>
<p>There's a brief mention of gender dysphoria, but the rest of the fic is all gender euphoria.</p>
<p>Title is from CRJ's "Cut to the Feeling".</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hold still, <i>Schatz</i>,” Astrid says, her fingers cold on xyr skin as she finishes pulling the silk stocking up xyr leg. Wulf flinches just a little when she brushes against xyr inner thigh, and she <i>tut</i>s at xem for it. </p>
<p>“It’s not my fault your hands are like ice. Couldn’t you blow on them or something, warm them up before you start telling me to be still?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, couldn’t you not be a baby?” She pinches xyr hip, and xe gasps. There’s enough fat on xyr hips for that now, with the way xyr body has filled out. The change isn’t so dramatic that it would be obvious to anyone who wasn’t intimately familiar with xyr body, but- Wulf is very aware of how xyr hips and thighs are softer, now, and being reminded of that makes xyr chest feel tight. And xe must have a <i>look</i> on xyr face because Astrid kisses xyr cheek and rests her forehead against Wulf’s. </p>
<p>“You’re so soft,” she murmurs, “so soft and pretty.” Her thumb brushes over the ruby stud in xyr ear, and it twitches at the touch. </p>
<p>“Your ears are so cute, <i>Liebling</i>,” Caleb says from behind xem. His voice is low and throaty like it gets when he’s turned on and it makes Wulf want to clench xyr thighs together. But xe’s being dressed right now, so xe needs to be good and stay still. And xe does, even as rough, warm fingers trace the shell of xyr ear. Even as Caleb's lips close around the tip of it. Even as he drags his teeth gently against the skin.</p>
<p>Then there's a <i>fwick</i> and an <i>ouch!</i> and his mouth is gone.</p>
<p>"Stop it," Astrid scolds, "or I'll do more than flick you in the nose. If xe comes now, xe'll ruin the lace."</p>
<p><i>It might be too late for that,</i> Wulf thinks, <i>I'm already dripping wet.</i> But xe doesn't say anything, just shifts xyr weight so that Astrid can start rolling the other stocking on.</p>
<p>She pinches xyr thigh this time, smirking meanly at the way xe flinches. Then she begins the process of attaching the garters to xyr stockings. The garter belt feels foreign around xyr waist, but not in a bad way. It's pressure and tension where xe isn't used to it being, but it's not unpleasant. Especially when xe looks down and sees the light, sky-blue silk trimmed in white lace against xyr skin. <i>To match your lovely eyes,</i> Caleb had said when xe bought it. </p>
<p>The underwear xe's wearing under the garter belt are the same shade of blue, made of fine, delicate lace that xe is almost certainly ruining with xyr slick. They barely cover xyr ass, and they're not especially <i>comfortable</i> but Wulf loves how xe looks in them. They make xem feel delicate, and it's a nice feeling after years and years of having to be unbreakable.</p>
<p>Caleb's hands brush against xyr sides as he tugs at the garter belt a bit to adjust it. Then his hands are sliding up xyr stomach, callouses rough on xyr skin, and he starts to play with the lace edging of xyr bralette. If xe loves how xe looks in the underwear, xe <i>adores</i> what the bralette does for xyr shape. It's the same blue as well- xe had bought a matching set- and it has lace that's sheer in all the right places and straps and it makes xyr breasts look incredible. There's a dramatic plunge in the middle to show off xyr cleavage, and it's not <i>a lot,</i> but xyr tits are the perfect size for Caleb's hands and just a little too big for Astrid's.</p>
<p>And sometimes, if xe moves just right, the lace will <i>shift</i> across xyr nipple and <i>gods</i> but xe loves how sensitive they've gotten. Astrid and Caleb love it, too, if the amount of time they spend teasing and touching and licking and sucking on them is any indication.</p>
<p>Caleb's fingers trace the bottom of xyr bralette, the decorative lace that hugs xyr ribs, and his touch is so light and teasing that Wulf wants to growl at him, to pin him down and rut against him until he <i>understands</i> what he's been <i>doing</i> to xem-</p>
<p>"There," Astrid says, and stands up from where they'd been kneeling. "All ready."</p>
<p>"You look beautiful, dearest," Caleb murmurs in xyr ear as he gets up, leaving Wulf alone on the bed. Astrid and Caleb stand there, watching xem, just <i>looking</i>, and xe preens just a bit under the attention. </p>
<p>"Do you want to see it?" Astrid asks softly, and suddenly Wulf can't speak past the lump in xyr throat, so xe just nods. Astrid gives xem a small, genuine smile, and xyr heart beats a little faster. She goes to their wardrobe and reaches inside. It takes a minute of her digging around before she emerges with a shimmering silver dress. It's not the first time Wulf has seen it- xe picked it out, after all, but seeing it in this context and knowing xe'll be <i>wearing</i> it gives xem a rush of anxiety and excitement and fear and <i>elation</i> like xe hasn't felt since the first time xe tried on one of Astrid's blouses, back during their time as students at the Soltryce Academy.</p>
<p>Back then, xe had been afraid of the feeling. Afraid of how xyr heart soared at the sight of ruffled sleeves on xyr muscular arms, the feeling of the fabric on xyr skin, so much softer and smoother than any of xyr rough woolen shirts. Xe had taken the blouse off so fast it nearly tore, had balled it up and thrown it under Astrid's bed, had curled up in xyr own bed and tried not to think about why xe was crying, why the hot, angry tears were rolling down xyr face and dampening the pillowcase.</p>
<p>Xe has grown since then. Has allowed xemself to be vulnerable and honest, even when it feels like xe is prying xyr ribcage open, leaving xyr heart raw and exposed to a cruel world. But xyr loves have stood by xem, held xem and kissed xem and loved xem and now-</p>
<p>Caleb's thumb wipes a tear from the corner of xyr eye.</p>
<p>"This is why I said we would do makeup after the dress was on." He's teasing, but the fondness and love in his voice is unmistakable. "Are you ready?" He says, quieter, and Wulf nods. </p>
<p>They do most of the work putting the dress on xem, and xe tries to feel pampered and loved rather than helpless. For the most part, it works, and before long Astrid is fastening the last small mother-of-pearl button at the neck of the dress. With shaking hands, Wulf smooths xyr palms over the slick, shimmering fabric. It moves like water beneath xyr touch, and sparkles like it too. The dress is- beautiful, and xe hopes that xe looks beautiful in it. With the way Astrid and Caleb are looking at xem, xe almost believes xe does. </p>
<p>Caleb's hand finds xyr own, and pulls xem gently towards the wardrobe.</p>
<p>"Come see," he says, and Wulf follows. There's a full-length mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door. It's a bit tarnished in spots, but still usable. As Wulf walks, xe can feel how wet xe still is between xyr thighs, but the <i>need</i> and <i>want</i> are such distant sensations right now. All xe can hear is xyr heartbeat in xyr ears. All xe can feel is the fabric and lace on xyr skin, and the heat of Caleb's hand.</p>
<p>"Look," Caleb says softly, and squeezes xyr hand before letting go and moving away, leaving Wulf alone in front of the mirror.</p>
<p>Xe focuses on xyr face, first- it's familiar, easy to parse. Xyr eyes are swimming with unshed tears, the blue of xyr irises made almost more vibrant by the light reflecting off the tears. Xyr long, dark hair is still in its high ponytail- Astrid's work, done before they'd begun dressing xem, and it looks <i>good,</i> not-so-subtly displaying xyr neck and ears and face. Xe follows the sharp curve of xyr cheekbone to xyr ear, flushed slightly pink at the tip and accented with the small ruby stud that reminds xem of how xe loves Caleb so much it aches.</p>
<p>And then xe can't put it off any longer, and xe lets xemself look at the dress.</p>
<p>It's made of a soft, shimmering silver fabric that catches the light like ripples on a pond every time Wulf moves. It's floor-length with a slit up the side that stops <i>just</i> below where the top of xyr stocking is, displaying the curve of xyr leg in a way that xe finds alluring. The waist and bodice are fitted, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable. The neck of the dress stops halfway up Wulf's throat, and the absence of sleeves displays xyr broad shoulders and muscular arms in a way that's delicate and maybe even-</p>
<p>Beautiful.</p>
<p>Xe is beautiful, and it takes two pairs of arms around xem and two low voices whispering soft and lovely things in Zemnian for Wuf to realize xe's crying- sobbing, really, taking deep shuddering breaths that ache in xyr chest as hot tears fall from xyr eyes.</p>
<p>"-beautiful, love, you're so beautiful, <i>shhh,</i> it's alright, you're alright-"</p>
<p>"-so lovely, Wulf, darling, wonderful and beautiful and gods, so <i>perfect-</i>"</p>
<p>"-as much as you need to, we'll be here, we love you-"</p>
<p>"-my treasure, our treasure, our beloved, <i>Wulf,</i> my love, my love-"</p>
<p>Xe doesn't know how long xe cries, only that when xyr tears are finally dry, xe is in bed, wrapped up in Caleb and Astrid's arms, and xe is exhausted.</p>
<p>Caleb nuzzles against xyr neck, kissing it softly before pulling back to look at xem.</p>
<p>"Feeling better?" he asks, and Wulf nods. </p>
<p>"Here," Caleb says, and sits up to grab something from their bedside table. Wulf whimpers before xe can help xemself, wanting the warmth of Caleb's body back, but Caleb hums, "Just a second, love."</p>
<p>While he does whatever he's doing, Astrid wraps her arms around xe tighter and kisses xyr shoulder.</p>
<p>"I love you, Eodwulf, you big crybaby."</p>
<p>"Shut up," xe says, but there's no venom to xyr words. "I love you too, you witch."</p>
<p>"Here," Caleb says, and he's holding a damp cloth. Carefully he dabs at Wulf's face, soft and gentle so as not to irritate the already-red skin. The cloth is warm and the motions are soothing as Caleb cleans xyr face of tears and snot. When he's done, Caleb peppers kisses across xyr cheeks and nose.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ll be wearing makeup today,” Wulf says, and Caleb laughs.</p>
<p>“That’s alright, Astrid realized about halfway through buttoning you up that they’re out of eyeshadow.”</p>
<p>“Glad it all worked out, then.” Wulf feels heavy with exhaustion and ready to sleep for a year. “Is it bad if I fall asleep in this dress?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Caleb says dryly, “it will get wrinkled. Let me help you out of it, love.”</p>
<p>“You just want to get me naked,” Wulf mumbles, sleep starting to slur xyr words and rolling onto xyr stomach so Caleb can undo the buttons.</p>
<p>“Always,” Caleb says, and kisses the nape of xyr neck. It takes a few minutes to undo all the buttons, then Caleb is helping xem stand up, pulling the dress off over xyr head, and kissing xem softly before moving to the wardrobe to hang the dress up. Wulf collapses back into bed, and Astrid crawls over to kiss xem softly and sweetly, an echo of Caleb's actions. Her fingers come to rest on the top of the garter belt, and she tugs at it lightly. </p>
<p>"Do you want this off, my treasure?"</p>
<p>Wulf sighs. Xe doesn't, not really, but it's starting to dig into xyr hips and xe probably shouldn't fall asleep with it on. </p>
<p>"Yes," xe says, and moves where Astrid directs xem as she undoes the clasps holding xyr stockings up. Then she undoes the belt itself, and when it comes off, Wulf can see that there are red marks and lines where it had dug into xyr skin. It doesn't hurt too badly, more a dull sting than anything, but Astrid kisses along it nonetheless before starting to unroll the stockings. </p>
<p>As she reaches for the top of the stocking, though, her fingers brush the crease of Wulf’s inner thigh where xyr wetness has smeared, and she sucks in a breath.</p>
<p>"Oh, love," she says, voice heavy with lust, "oh, <i>love</i>..."</p>
<p>Wulf squirms, wanting her fingers closer and further all at once. Xe looks up at Astrid and sees her eyes wide and locked onto where her hand is still resting on xyr leg. Her thumb starts to swipe slowly back and forth, absently, like she's not even thinking about it. </p>
<p>"Would you like some help with that, darling?" She asks, voice low and throaty. Wulf closes xyr eyes, takes a deep breath, and thinks. On one hand, gods, xe's been so wet and wanting for so long, and xe still is- the desperation had just been overshadowed by euphoria and tears for a while.</p>
<p>On the other hand, xe is so <i>very</i> sleepy.</p>
<p>"I don't think I have the energy for very much right now."</p>
<p>"You don't have to lift a finger," Astrid murmurs, and kisses xyr hip. "I'm more than happy to do all the work."</p>
<p>There's a creak and a dip in the mattress as Caleb rejoins them. His hand comes to rest on Wulf's stomach, and his skin is so hot it feels like it's burning xem.</p>
<p>"I hope you weren't planning on keeping our dear Eodwulf all to yourself."</p>
<p>"Please," Astrid smirks, "I know how to share."</p>
<p>Caleb looks down at Wulf with a fond expression and a hunger in his eyes. "Would you like for us to get you off, beloved? And if so, how many times would you like to come?"</p>
<p>The whine in the back of Wulf's throat is completely involuntary. Xe spreads xyr legs a little wider, shifts to try and get Astrid's hand where xe wants it, but she follows the movement, keeping her hand on xyr thigh.</p>
<p>"Caleb needs an answer, darling."</p>
<p>"Please," xe says, increasingly aware of how wet xe still is.</p>
<p>"And?" Caleb's hand grounds xem, not holding xem down, just providing something to focus on.</p>
<p>"And I want to come…" Xe thinks, biting xyr lip. "... as many times as you think I can. Please."</p>
<p>Normally xe would bat xyr lashes or say something snarky to disguise how badly xe <i>wants</i> and how very exposed <i>wanting</i> makes xem feel, but right now? Wulf already feels like xe's been stripped down to xyr very soul, and xe knows that these two people, these people xe trusts implicitly even though xe should <i>know</i> better, will take care of xem. They'll give xem exactly as much xe can take, and having so much trust in other people is heady and terrifying and amazing all at once.</p>
<p>When xe looks at the two of them above xem, xe sees Astrid biting her lower lip and Caleb flushed red. Astrid acts first, taking xyr face in her hands and leaning down to kiss xem, hard. She nips at xyr lower lip and when xe opens xyr mouth, she licks into it hungrily and all xe can do is try to keep up. There's a sort of sweet, syrupy relief knowing xe isn't expected to do anything, that xe won't have to think or make decisions- that xyr only real job tonight is to lie back and let xyr partners do whatever they want to make xem feel good. Not that Wulf doesn't love pulling moans and whines and curses from Astrid and Caleb with xyr fingers and mouth and whatever xe's feeling that particular day, but. Wulf is drained and tired, and being pampered sounds incredibly nice at the moment.</p>
<p>Astrid's cool hands feel good on xyr hot skin as she kisses xem deeply. Xe jumps when xe feels hands touch and start to massage xyr temples, but quickly relaxes into the touch. Caleb's slow, gentle attention is in sharp contrast to Astrid's hungry, passionate kisses, and Wulf feels split in the best of ways.</p>
<p>Then Caleb's hands are sliding over Astrid's, down xyr neck, over xyr shoulders, and tracing the lace straps of the bralette xe's still wearing. Wulf realizes what he's about to do just seconds before Caleb starts to gently knead xyr breasts. Xe gasps into Astrid's mouth, and feels them giggle against xem.</p>
<p>"So sensitive," Caleb sighs from somewhere beside xem, and drags his thumbs over Wulf's nipples, causing the lace to rub against them as well. Astrid pulls away from the kiss to catch their breath, and Wulf whines, though whether it's because they're not kissing xem or because of Caleb's stupid beautiful excellent fingers, xe isn't sure.</p>
<p>"Eodwulf, sweet thing, pretty thing, I can <i>smell</i> you." Astrid is on their stomach now, mouth by xyr ear as they alternate between kissing it and whispering to xem. "Have you <i>ever</i> been this wet before?"</p>
<p>"Mm," is all xe manages- xyr head is too pleasantly foggy to even consider trying to answer that. Luckily, Astrid doesn't seem intent on getting an answer, and xe's allowed to just float in the sensations of being touched.</p>
<p>"Would you like my mouth, love? My fingers?" Xe sees a flash of gold out of the corner of xyr eye as she touches the ring on her middle finger. "If you want my cock, I'll gladly give it to you. Anything you want, pretty thing, anything at all."</p>
<p>"Ah-" xe opens xyr mouth to respond just as Caleb starts to gently lick and suck xyr nipple through the lace, and xyr response catches in xyr throat.</p>
<p>“Anything,” xe manages, “I want, ah- any of it, whatever you'll give me, please-”</p>
<p>Caleb turns his attention to Wulf’s other nipple, leaving the one he’d been teasing peaked and obvious through the spit-damp lace. Then Caleb’s hand is on xyr chest, fingers slipping beneath the lace to pinch and rub the tender skin. Astrid scrapes her teeth lightly along the shell of xyr ear before pushing herself up and onto her knees.</p>
<p>“I think I’d like to taste you. I haven’t felt you coming on my tongue in a while.”</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Wulf moans, and Astrid leans down to press a quick, chaste kiss to xyr lips before sliding onto the floor and settling between xyr legs.</p>
<p>Astrid wastes no time pressing her nose to xyr clit through the wet lace of xyr underwear. Her hands wrap around xyr thighs from underneath, and she inhales deeply. Her breath is hot against xyr cunt when she says, “Ah, I never actually took your stockings off, did I? I really should fix that. Wouldn’t want them getting torn or... dirty.”</p>
<p>She pulls away, and Wulf rolls xyr hips desperately towards her face, whining.</p>
<p>“Ah-ah, patience,” Astrid scolds, and begins to peel the right stocking down and off. She's moving so slowly, kissing xyr skin as it's revealed, and Wulf can't tell how much of this procedure is her teasing xem and how much is genuine fondness. Whatever the case may be, xe nearly sobs with relief when both stockings are off and set to the side. Astrid returns her nose to xyr cunt, but this time she drags her tongue up, pressing in through the lace. </p>
<p>“<i>Gods,</i> I can’t believe how <i>wet</i> you are.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?”</p>
<p>Xe can feel the self-satisfied smirk on Astrid’s lips through xyr underwear. </p>
<p>“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk straight for a week. But before that I’m going to see how many fingers I can fit in that pretty cunt of yours. And before <i>that</i>, I’m going to find out just how many times I can bring you off with my tongue alone.”</p>
<p>Her lips wrap around xyr clit at the same time that Caleb scrapes his blunt teeth across xyr nipple and <i>oh</i>, xe should be embarrassed that xe’s coming already but xyr orgasm feels like a dam breaking- waves of pleasure crest over xem, and xe can feel already that this will be a long night in the best of ways.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated. If there's enough interest, I may get around to writing a second chapter, just as a continuation.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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